Leaving Taiwan

For the past two years, I have lived, taught, played and loved in Tainan, Taiwan. Now I am leaving Taiwan to go back to the USA. God has blessed me so much in this time. He has given me a fun job, AMAZING co-workers, FANTASTIC friends and a great church family. I have had so much fun and learned so much.

I have tried several times to write down what God has taught me while in Taiwan. I have also tried to really sum up what Taiwan means to me and I can’t do it. I am not a great writer. I don’t have that knack of describing in a few words the essence of something, or  emotions.

Taiwan has been a time of releasing. When I came here, I had to release so much of my former life. I had to give up friends, family, possessions, pride, and independence. When you are overseas, you learn which of your friends really cherish you by the ones who make an effort to stay in your life. You learn to be okay without seeing your family often and not having people to constantly depend on. You leave everything behind, taking with you only what you can fit in one or two suitcases.  You have to lose your pride because when in a new environment, it is like you are a small child having to ask what to do even in simple situations. You have to learn how to be okay with sounding and looking dumb quite often. You have to give up some independence because, unless you speak the language, you can do NOTHING alone. You have to have help at the hospital, bank, post office, grocery store, gas station, everywhere.

But I have also gained SO much more than I had to give up. I gained new friends, a new perspective, a new language, new cultural traditions, new independence, new self esteem.

I gained friendships that are much deeper than ones I lost. I met people from all walks of life who are bound to me by such intense bonds of fellowship, laughter and tears that it makes other friendships seem silly. I gained such a huge global perspective. The world no longer seems so vast. I know people in all corners of the earth and I learned that those people are all very similar. They love, they cry, they hurt, they smile and they laugh. Nationality and culture mean little if you laugh and cry together. I learned how to communicate efficiently in a new language. I learned how important body language and charades are when you don’t know the right words! I learned how gracious people are when you are obviously, hopelessly confused! I gained a knowledge and appreciation for different traditions and holidays. Forevermore, I will celebrate Dragonboat festival, Moon Festivals, Chinese NewYear and other festivals. I will incorporate Taiwanese wedding traditions into my American wedding plans! I learned how to make traditional foods. I gained a different kind of independence that says… “Psshhh this isn’t hard. Hard is moving to a country where you don’t know anyone or anything and thriving.” I gained the independence that knows I could always move to another country and teach English! I gained the self esteem that comes with these skills. I gained self esteem from knowing that I am tough and can handle myself in a foreign country. I gained self esteem from my precious students telling me every day that I am beautiful, even when I felt I looked my worst. I gained precious life experience.

God has used Taiwan, my church, my friends and my experiences to tear down some large walls I had built around myself. I learned how to REALLY trust him with my life. He took painful experiences from the past and replaced them with positive things. I went through my first real crisis of faith here and have emerged much stronger and resilient.

And now I will leave.

Part of me is crying out to myself, “Why are you leaving? Are you crazy?” Another part is very happy and excited about the challenges I will face at my next job (which I will announce as soon as it is officially voted upon!” A large part of me is sad to leave the people who have taught me so much and supported me along the way. And yet another part is ready to  be home with my beloved family!

So… Taiwan. You have part of my heart. I will never forget you and I love you!