Friendship

Friendship is hard... especially as an adult. Last week a friend who has moved away met me halfway with her kids just because I had a bad day and wanted peach ice cream and to talk. As we stood there pushing her kids on the swing set and chatting about our complicated lives, I started thinking about friendship.

 In the past 48 hours I have interacted(at least via the internet) with people on three continents, four states, and various points in their lives. One friend is a medical missionary in Africa, one is getting married this weekend, one is a teacher in another country, one is a nursing major in college. One special friend just gave birth to a bouncing baby boy and another is expecting a sweet little bundle of sugar and spice. Another friend has been through the wringer these past few months, but is always cheerful. Still another is one of the most talented people I know and always has something fun up her sleeve.

I have always struggled with friendship. In high school, I dubbed the syndrome that seemed to plague me as being a "Spare tire friend". As in the friend that is always there when needed, but can also be stored out of sight and forgotten about. That image and syndrome has never really left me. I still struggle with friendship.

This year has been especially hard for me with friendships. Several people that I thought were my friends stabbed me in the back, said really hurtful things to me, or just walked away completely with no explanation. Others (who are still friends) are moving away leaving me behind. (I understand that we will still be friends and see each other, but it is not the same as calling people up randomly and showing up at their house with a lemon meringue pie I made because I wanted to.) A year and around 4 days ago, I felt richly blessed with friends. Now I seem to be in a bit of a friend drought.

In middle and high school, it was so important who your best friend was. You normally only had one at a time. This was the person you could depend on for everything: sleepovers, movie partners, late night chats on the phone, someone who would be there. But you know what? I don't have a best friend anymore. I have lots of good friends, but no one who is that one...

But as an adult, I have come to realize that it is okay not to have a best friend. As an adult, friendship looks different. Sometimes friendship comes from random places - people that you never thought you would be friends with. Sometimes people you thought were your friends leave you behind or walk away. But friendship is always unique and always valuable. Some friends come into your life for a season and then grow apart. Some friends come into your life and never leave even though distance and circumstances separate you. Some friends are always going to be there with encouragement and some friends will (kindly) give you the truth you need to hear even when it is painful.

All frienship is valuable - in whatever shape and form it takes. And sometimes it manifests itself by a meeting to eat peach ice cream and push children on swings.

18. Go to a Concert!

I went to a concert. A Pentatonix Concert to be precise! The concert was my little (big) brother's birthday gift. And while Pentatonix (and Us the Duo) gave a great concert, the best part of the day was getting to spend some time with my brother,Judson, and sister-in-love, Anna.

Judson and I fought like cats and dogs through our childhood and teenage years. And just when we started to like each other a little bit - BOOM - I was off to college. And then so was he. And then we both started adulting and - BOOM - I moved overseas. Then - BOOM - he got married... and here we are. But I realized something recently. One day he will be all that is left of my family. So I really need to start cultivating that relationship more. It helps that he is a ridiculous amount of fun to be around and his wife is equally-if-not-more amazing! So here's to Judson's 26th birthday, my first completion of a 30-before-30 task, and family becoming friends.

30 Before 30

Here I go... 

Upon contemplation of turning 30 years old, I realized there were so many things I wanted to do, but kept putting off. So I decided to make a list which somehow morphed into a 30 before 30 challenge. Before I decided to do this, I had no idea how popular they were. After looking at a few (a bunch) or other lists, consulting my friends, and really thinking about it, I decided on these 30 things. Judge all you want, but there are the things I want to accomplish before my 30th birthday. 

1. Run a 5k
2. Take a solo trip
3. Learn how to shoot a gun
4. Go camping
5. Go to Harry Potter World
6. Sing Karaoke
7. Take a spontaneous trip
8. Go to a brewery to find a beer that I like
9. Watch IMDB top 50 movies
10. Be comfortable riding Shotgun.
11. Learn how to cook three fancy meals
12. Have a photoshoot of myself
13. Go on a wine tasting tour
14. Go on a Women’s retreat
15. Buy a nice gold bracelet.
16. Go to the Zelda Fitzgerald museum.
17. Blog once a month.
18. Go to a concert.
19. Name a star after myself
20. Donate my hair
21. Be debt free
22. Go hot air ballooning
23. Make a baked Alaska
24. Lean how to box
25. Learn how to Smock
26. Complete 30 acts of kindness
27. Get a spray tan
28. Find a new church
29. Take a cooking class.
30.  Buy a House.

29

Well today is my 29^th birthday. I honestly don’t know where the past few years have gone. If you had asked me what my life would look like 10 years ago, this is definitely not what I would have pictured. I know no one feels like their age, but I especially do not. I think a combination of the fact that I teach teenagers and have friends that are younger than I keeps me feeling young. Also the fact that people don’t treat me my age because I haven’t done the things expected of me for my age (get married, have a kid or four, buy a house, etc). But there are moments when I do feel every bit of my age.

Let’s be honest. My 28^th year on this earth was not my most amazing. It had its moments of awesome: visit from Robyn, stage managing “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change” and “Tuesdays With Morrie”, being in Radio TBS, trips to New Orleans and Nashville with my gal pals, and getting the opportunity to teach Theatre at PJHS. However, it also had its struggles. I “lost” some people this year, lost some self confidence, lost some pieces of myself.  But I am done with all that.

I am claiming 29 to be my year!

My year to enjoy life.

My year to gain confidence.

My year to enjoy simple things.

My year to cherish those who love me.

My year to give.

My year to not hold back.

My year to develop more awesome.

My year to learn how not to care what others think.

My year to straighten out crooked parts of my life.

My year to grow.

My year to regain myself.

One way I will do all of these things is by completing a “30 by 30” bucket list. I love lists. I live by lists. I have a constantly fluctuating bucket list that I have checked numerous things off of. In fact, in researching what I wanted to be on my list, I realized I have done a lot of the things on other people’s lists. But I have my own personal list. Things I want to accomplish for myself. Things that might not look normal to others, that are very personal to me. So tomorrow, I will finalize my bucket list and put it on the world wide web for everyone to see. I hope no one judges me for my list, but you know what? I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!! These are things that are important to me or that I think are fun, and that is all that matters. I will be updating my blog with photos when I complete an item! Please celebrate with me!