Friendship

Friendship is hard... especially as an adult. Last week a friend who has moved away met me halfway with her kids just because I had a bad day and wanted peach ice cream and to talk. As we stood there pushing her kids on the swing set and chatting about our complicated lives, I started thinking about friendship.

 In the past 48 hours I have interacted(at least via the internet) with people on three continents, four states, and various points in their lives. One friend is a medical missionary in Africa, one is getting married this weekend, one is a teacher in another country, one is a nursing major in college. One special friend just gave birth to a bouncing baby boy and another is expecting a sweet little bundle of sugar and spice. Another friend has been through the wringer these past few months, but is always cheerful. Still another is one of the most talented people I know and always has something fun up her sleeve.

I have always struggled with friendship. In high school, I dubbed the syndrome that seemed to plague me as being a "Spare tire friend". As in the friend that is always there when needed, but can also be stored out of sight and forgotten about. That image and syndrome has never really left me. I still struggle with friendship.

This year has been especially hard for me with friendships. Several people that I thought were my friends stabbed me in the back, said really hurtful things to me, or just walked away completely with no explanation. Others (who are still friends) are moving away leaving me behind. (I understand that we will still be friends and see each other, but it is not the same as calling people up randomly and showing up at their house with a lemon meringue pie I made because I wanted to.) A year and around 4 days ago, I felt richly blessed with friends. Now I seem to be in a bit of a friend drought.

In middle and high school, it was so important who your best friend was. You normally only had one at a time. This was the person you could depend on for everything: sleepovers, movie partners, late night chats on the phone, someone who would be there. But you know what? I don't have a best friend anymore. I have lots of good friends, but no one who is that one...

But as an adult, I have come to realize that it is okay not to have a best friend. As an adult, friendship looks different. Sometimes friendship comes from random places - people that you never thought you would be friends with. Sometimes people you thought were your friends leave you behind or walk away. But friendship is always unique and always valuable. Some friends come into your life for a season and then grow apart. Some friends come into your life and never leave even though distance and circumstances separate you. Some friends are always going to be there with encouragement and some friends will (kindly) give you the truth you need to hear even when it is painful.

All frienship is valuable - in whatever shape and form it takes. And sometimes it manifests itself by a meeting to eat peach ice cream and push children on swings.